January '05

1/22/05 ~ I wanna go home

The other night I watched the movie Garden State.  When I first saw the preview I wanted to see it, but then my friend Josh said it was quite good so it kind of pushed me out to go rent it ASAP.  I have to agree with him, it was an excellent flick... and I think Josh is in love.  I've yet to meet this girl though, apparently he doesn't think highly enough about me.  Just kidding Josh, I know you love me.

So .. about Garden State.  There is a point in the movie where they talk about what home is, and it got me thinking that I don't know if I really have ever felt like I have a home.  Home is not just a place you live, but a place where you feel safe and comfortable.  I was part of a divorced family and growing up I moved around a lot.  

Living with my mom, we probably lived  in 8 or 9 different houses in the 13 years that I lived in California.  Granted like 5 of them were all in the same town once we moved to the mountains, but all the same, none of them were home.  It's not that I felt unloved or anything but for as long as I remember I had a lot of independence, so I took care of myself quite a bit.  I think all of that independence had me growing up too fast, which really took away from being able to feel like there was someone to care for me, look after me, keep me safe, and make me feel at home.  Don't get me wrong, I love my mom to death and honestly I think I am a better person today for the way she raised me, and the freedoms I was allowed.

On the other hand my dad and step-mother have lived in all of two houses for the last 20+ years.  I have a brother and sister who have only known those two houses for all of their childhood and some of their adult life.  Since I only spent about 2 months a year in either of these houses, and since I have never really agreed with my Dad or step-mother on a lot of their beliefs, I can't say that I can lay the title of "home" on either of those houses.

I now own a house, and to be quite honest it feels pretty empty most of the time.  The closest it ever feels to home is when my son is there, and even then I know that he is only around for a short time, so it is fleeting at the least.  I actually found myself laying in bed this morning wondering what it would feel like if I was still with my ex-wife, but I know it still wouldn't feel like home.

I want to go home.

1/15/05 ~ The company line

It's no wonder our company is just barely a year out of bankruptcy and struggling to make cash-flo-posative.  There is not attention to detail or follow-through at the management level.  You have a suggestion for improvement.. "yeah ok I will bring that up in our meetings," then that never happens.  Someone in slacking off and not doing the work expected of them and instead finding ways to hide their lack of productivity.. don't dare bring that to their supervisors attention.. because next thing you know your the problem person on radar while the slackjaw keeps on slacking.

Our group has been doing "ticket monitors" for the inbound call center reps now for anywhere between 6 and 9 months I think.  I have consistently been at or above the expected weekly volume for the duration of this time, while some others will fall far short, do none, and then randomly do 40 to 60 in one week to increase their overall number.  I bet when it comes time for our merit increases this year we will all be viewed equal once again.

Furthermore, on these ticket monitors, the point of them is to actually provide a method to improve a rep's handling of customer issues by letting them know if they did a good job or not, and to obtain a consistency across the call center.  Do you think management actually cares if these monitors are helpful?  Heck no, it's all about meeting your numbers.  They could care less about the actual content of the monitor as long as you get X number submitted in a week.

So anyway, it's no wonder that our company is in such disarray.. it's really all about working that 9-5 and collecting that 40 hour paycheck by doing the minimum possible, not about actually improving our process' and quality of product.  The funny thing is that some people manage to collect that 40 hour paycheck working a 20 hour week quite regularly.. that should be good for the bottom line. 

1/09/05 ~ Resolutions.... what?

Well the new year is here.  Hello Mr. Obvious.  

The Christmas break was nice.  Ten days off of work and my son was home to spend it with me.  We went up north to Petoskey and Boyne City to spend the time with my parents.  It was a really nice time all around.  We got to go snow sledding a couple of times, which Brennan really loves.  We also spent a night at a nice Hotel in Traverse City that has a pretty awesome indoor water park.  Nothing like 6 hours of water soaking you through to really make you tired.... I don't know how I used to do it as a kid. 

New Years Eve was pretty uneventful.  I went out with some of my cousins and did a little drinking but it was rather lack luster.  No kiss at the stroke of midnight and a bunch of drunk relatives to put up with.

As far as New Years Resolutions go.. I didn't make any.  If I had to choose one it would to be not to make any more resolutions until 2006.  On a serious note I think I would like to finally get off my ass and get into a gym to loose some of this weight that I have put on from this desk job.... we will see how successful that will be.  Additionally I would like to get the rest of the rooms painted in my house and hopefully do some landscaping this spring.  If I am lucky I might actually find a woman this year.. a normal one.. see previous updates for my past luck.

I was reading my horoscope today.. 'cuz I do that now and then.. even though I am quite certain they are a crock of shit.  So here is what it says:

You've got one more day left to have some serious fun, and you're quite ready to take full advantage of the situation. With several astrological influences putting love in the spotlight, you're ready for whatever comes along, and you should definitely focus your attention on romance. The stars are sending along a day or two of nice, earthy affection. Ready or not, here it comes!

Well.. I'll tell ya what.  I'm ready, I've been ready, but I'm not buying that it's going to come any time soon.  Maybe I'll go down to the east side and pay a hooker just so I can start having a little faith in horoscopes.

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